As I got out of my car, papers in hand, I shut the door behind me and in an instant I was on the ground. When I hit the concrete, I was still holding on to the papers. I heard a pop and said out loud, “get up and keep it moving.” Was this determination or just plain foolishness? I would soon find out. It wouldn’t be the first time I fell and hurt my leg.
Six months prior I was running on a trail and closed my eyes and stepped off unto the grass, twisting my ankle pretty bad. No matter, I had to get back up and keep going. No time to give in to the pain I was feeling so that I could come up with an excuse for not walking the next day. I said out loud, “no pain, no gain.” This might seem like a trend for me but I assure you it’s not. Just another reminder to always pay attention to the things around me.
This would be a good time to throw in the towel and say bump it, this stuff is for the birds! Why does this always happen to me? Then I’m reminded of a conversation I had with a friend not long before this incident. He said, “Drea in everything you do to try to reach a goal you set, you must remember that there’s nothing wrong with failing often and failing quickly. It will help you to reach your goals quicker and you’ll see what doesn’t work. As I run these conversations in my mind, I remind myself that it’s okay to fall. I may break bones from a fall but my spirit will never be broken or can it be?
Let me fast forward a few weeks and tell you about what began to happen because I would not allow myself to feel the emotional pain of how this was going to affect me. I pretended like everything was alright and nothing was wrong. I was trying to stay positive but the reality of my situation was about to hit me harder than the fracture to my fibula from this recent fall. It came like a wave of fear. It felt as if from nowhere. I was doing everything to stay on my game of positivity. I had been meditating, but not as frequently and I had begun to consume sugar in copious amounts. I was feeling like a failure.
First off let me say that this isn’t going to be one of those blog posts where I go into a sad story of woe is me but I do have to tell you how the obstacles in our lives can quickly take us back to old habits that do not serve us. You begin to see the results of your decisions and you feel overwhelmed. You feel helpless and the sneaky feeling of unworthiness peers its ugly head into your life once again. You begin to have a war in your own head about how going back to the way you handled bumps in the road in the past have lead you to destructive behaviors and slowly you begin to spiral back into your old ways.
So often we forget that we are in fact human and that all the self help books, videos and seminars about maintaining a positive attitude and making changes to improve your life takes time and of course a commitment to yourself. When you are used to reacting to inconveniences in a negative way it can begin to break you down. Especially if you’re not consistent with your new habits. This leaves you open and susceptible to bringing back old habits which did not serve you in the past.
How can you become more aware of this type of vulnerability in your human condition? One way is to stay in consistent action with the new tools you’ve picked up and their use. If you were trying to make a book case and it required certain tools in order to make it sturdy and prevent injury to you or someone else, you would be sure to use all the required tools. Some of the tools would be a screwdriver, a hammer and nails or screws and possibly an Allen wrench for those special screws that can only be screwed in with that tool. When we fail to use all the necessary or required tools to achieve the desired result of our work, things are bound to fall apart or cause some sort of injury.
When we are looking for answers to our many questions, we start to pick up new ideas from books, articles, pod casts and or blogs written by countless individuals that have some sort of expertise in a particular subject. We become excited with all the information they provide and we want to try everything out. Some of us read and follow the instructions and make a plan for how to change our way of thinking. Others take short cuts and soon find out that they forgot to use an important tool and then soon give up and the consistency that was there at the beginning is gone or fading quickly.
This turns into another failed attempt at changing our circumstance and way of thinking. Then the vicious cycle of negative self talk starts to take over. There are some like myself that can go for a long stretch with staying on track with goals if they are written down and we hold ourselves accountable for what we have achieved. Always keeping ourselves in check in order to see where we need to improve.
How much are you willing to commit to your change and how can you best serve your cause should be a question that you ask yourself often. Your commitment to self is probably the most important aspect of change. If you are not willing to commit to yourself then you will never be able to commit to anyone or anything. You will always fall and the frustrations will set in. These are all part of the decisions that we make that affect the end result. If all that you have tried until this point has not worked and you have not truly committed to yourself to change than nothing will change. You will continue to have the same looming question with the same old results. Commit to change and the change will come. Allow yourself the opportunity to tap into the power of your own resiliency and strength. You will only get out of life what you put into it.
If your thoughts are constantly filled with worry about the future and you don’t use the tools provided to make those small changes at first then you will continue to get the same result. Keep in mind that the things you play in your head about your failures, inabilities, fears, and the many excuses you come up with for not going after the things that you want will continue to plague your life outcomes with negative results. You have the full power to create the reality that speaks to your accomplishments and the life you want. “But my life is so full of long term limiting beliefs about what I can and can’t do” you say. How can one change all these bad circumstances when it seems almost impossible? So many questions. Let me help you with some of the answers.
First, think about this scenario for a moment. We have been told that we cannot change the past. That once the past is gone there is nothing you can do about it. So I began thinking about this and wanted to really have an understanding of what this meant to me. I was inspired with an eye opening thought. We do have the power to change the past. How is that you ask? Simple. If you are living in the past with your thoughts stuck there, you’re never in the present moment and since you’re stuck in the past you have the power to change it by letting it go and being in the present moment, the now.
Circumstances are really easy to change, we just make them complicated with our convoluted thoughts running rampant in our heads. We get stuck repeating the same old mantra about why things can never change. Here’s what I can say about that, you’re absolutely right. The amazing thing about life is that we have the power to create another reality. The reality that speaks to the truth of your spirit. Nothing can break you if you know how to protect yourself or rather arm yourself with the right tools. The tools that empower you and work for you, not against you. Change starts with you.
So I found myself in a space of familiarity with past behaviors and limiting thoughts. I realized this immediately but a part of me went there. We are all susceptible to good and bad outcomes based on our decisions. It is truly up to you to want to stay in tune with everything that serves your highest good. Remember that your bones may break from a fall but they can also heal. How long it takes for the healing process depends solely on you.